Hello parents! I’m writing about simplicity today and hope you find something useful here. Take what you need, and leave what you don’t. I’m here to help!
Simple is Not Always Easy
Keeping things simple can feel incredibly hard when you’re doing something new and find yourself struggling. Whether you’re brand-new to parenthood or have some experience with it, parenting always presents unexpected challenges. How do you flow with the changes while keeping things simple? Here are some ways:
Back Pocket Basics
Have a “basics” checklist that you can pull out any time you need to get centered. Look at these areas and ask yourself these questions:
Sleep – Am I getting enough? If not what, what small, doable shifts can I make to get a bit more?
Support – Would it help to reach out to someone right now?
Movement – Have I moved my body today? Movement is one of the best tools for managing stress.
Nutrition – What have I eaten today? If I forgot to eat, time to grab something now.
Self-Compassion – Have I paused to offer myself kindness and understanding? We can never offer ourselves too much of either.
I use these basics myself, and I promise they will serve you wherever you are in life, whether you’re in the thick of new parenting or beyond. If you feel a wobble or are totally overwhelmed, it’s helpful to check in on what’s going on for you within each of these areas.
For more details on each of these basics, check out my helpful guide here.
Keep What Works for You
It’s awesome to get information, advice, other perspectives and guidance through podcasts, articles, books, experts and trusted friends. It’s also so important to remember that not all of it will apply or work for you and your child. You are the expert on you and your kiddo.
You are unique with your own specific needs. If someone’s advice doesn’t work or a technique doesn’t apply, it’s okay to leave it behind. If something does work, keep it. It’s that simple.
Let Go of What You Don’t Need
Effort and ease may seem mutually exclusive during challenging moments. With intention and presence, we can flow — with grace — between these two states. But how?
Shift away from “effort” and move toward “ease” by letting go of what you don’t need. When things are feeling hard, let go of thoughts such as, “I should be doing it exactly like this” or “I’m really bad at this.”
Single thoughts can quickly turn into patterns that become entrenched. Don’t let that happen, especially if they are not true! Are preconceived notions of what the perfect parent ought to be doing helpful to you? If not, let them go.
It’s Okay to Not Know
As a parent, you won’t always know how to respond in the moment. You may not be able to immediately figure out the solution to a problem. Here’s a simple four-step process to address feelings you may have around not knowing:
Remind yourself : This is okay.
Pause and take a breath.
Then ask yourself the question, “Which part of myself am I responding from right now?” Is it my tired, worn out self? My frustrated self?
Consider what that part of yourself needs right now. Is it a moment to breathe? A kind word? Now can you offer it to yourself? Or, if that feels hard, can someone else do that for you?
After you’ve done some reflection, keep moving forward with the attitude of simplicity. Keep circling back to the basics.
Keep going like you’re doing something that matters deeply.
Because it really, really does.